Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I Want a Uniform Suitable to My Position

There should be a uniform, it needs gold braid, big brass buttons and a whistle on a gold chain that hangs from a fancy loop through the button hole at the collar. A nice hat, gloves, shiny shoes to go with it, too. Needs to be a color that won't show cat hair, though.

Uniform for what, you ask? Cat Doorman. That's what I am. All day they're, yowling or scratching to get in or out of my office/workroom. I'm the doorman for 3 cats who can't decide half the time if they actually want in or out. And, before you ask, no, I can't leave the door open. I won't go into the reasons why, so you or random droppers-by won't feel compelled to lecture me about my reason. We want to stay friendly, right?

Yogurt, the senior statesman of the cats sits about 2 feet from the door and stares up at the knob. If I don't leap up to open it, he comes over to my chair and bats at my arm until I do.

Pudding, the young ne'er do well, who normally just lies around on his back looking like a long-haired cat fur rug, claws the underside of my chair as his signal that "I'm all done in here, you will be letting me out now, right?" and then he goes up to the door so close, that when I do open it, he always has to move out of the way and often in his haste to leave bumps his nose.

Jello, the diva, scratches at the door. She scratches furiously. I'm surprised she hasn't clawed straight through the wood yet.

So, yeah, I want a uniform. And a whistle.

4 comments:

Thumper said...

I wonder if there's an official uniform for a Can Opener. 'Cause that's all I am to my cats...

Put a kitty flap in your office door? If I ever get my own room for an office, I think that's what I'm doing. A closed door warns the Spouse Thingy that I'm working, but the cats don't respect that...

Dawno said...

Well, the 'can opener' uniform could be a dark suit with a badge that says "HM Special Services" or something, wear dark glasses and carry a manual can opener in a shoulder holster...

I'd put a kitty flap in the door in a heartbeat if we weren't renting.

AstonWest said...

It must be the week for cat blogs. I just finished reading another one.

Our cat is currently having digestive problems...but usually decides to come over and crawl all over me, nudging my hands while I try to type, that sort of thing.

All while I'm trying to complete my latest WIP...it's like they know!

Dawno said...

They know. They know that you are not giving proper deference to the center of the universe, them. If it doesn't pet them, feed them or if it isn't food or something they can chase, it's beneath trivial and you shouldn't be wasting valuable time tapping on its keys when you could be scratching them behind the ears. :-)