There should be a uniform, it needs gold braid, big brass buttons and a whistle on a gold chain that hangs from a fancy loop through the button hole at the collar. A nice hat, gloves, shiny shoes to go with it, too. Needs to be a color that won't show cat hair, though.
Uniform for what, you ask? Cat Doorman. That's what I am. All day they're, yowling or scratching to get in or out of my office/workroom. I'm the doorman for 3 cats who can't decide half the time if they actually want in or out. And, before you ask, no, I can't leave the door open. I won't go into the reasons why, so you or random droppers-by won't feel compelled to lecture me about my reason. We want to stay friendly, right?
Yogurt, the senior statesman of the cats sits about 2 feet from the door and stares up at the knob. If I don't leap up to open it, he comes over to my chair and bats at my arm until I do.
Pudding, the young ne'er do well, who normally just lies around on his back looking like a long-haired cat fur rug, claws the underside of my chair as his signal that "I'm all done in here, you will be letting me out now, right?" and then he goes up to the door so close, that when I do open it, he always has to move out of the way and often in his haste to leave bumps his nose.
Jello, the diva, scratches at the door. She scratches furiously. I'm surprised she hasn't clawed straight through the wood yet.
So, yeah, I want a uniform. And a whistle.