Saturday, June 02, 2007

Maybe Someday All My Posts Will Be About Just One Topic

Writers, do you have trouble making up good excuses for why you're taking so long to finish that WIP? You should consider having a good selection of reasons and rationales memorized andready for all occasions. Remember, "The dog ate my homework" didn't work on Miss Ratzenberger in the 5th grade, why would it now?

You need to get creative. For example, I saw the video below in the comments section of a post on Pandagon, referenced in Making Light Particles as "Pandagon FAQ, draft version". It's a response to the question "It’s so cool that Amanda’s got a book deal! But why is it taking so long for her to finish?"


Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Here are some suggestions - feel free to use them.

"I got my protagonist lost in some underground caves and can't figure out how to get him out of there until I finish reading these 42 articles I Googled on spelunking."
"My horoscope told me this was a bad week for using my imagination."
"I have to make sure I'm keeping up with this thread on Absolute Write about Pirates of the Caribbean 3."
"I've decided that only celebrities get published, so I'm taking acting (singing, dancing) lessons instead of writing."

Feel free to suggest more in the comments.

Edit: J M McDermott suggested these in the comments:

I'd finish my WiP, but I'm WAY too drunk, all the time.

Also, Helena Bonham Carter keeps calling and calling me. I mean, seriously, how many times do you have to explain that "No" means "No".

My coffee machine broke. I've tried replacing it three times, but so far all I've managed to pick up are a waffle iron, a llama's bridle, and two illegal immigrants named juan valdez who keep offering me matte lattes - NOT COFFEE! shopping for a coffee maker seems to also require coffee.

I'd finish my WiP but people keep asking me what's taking so long. I spend more time answering that question than I do actually writing.

Also, I blame your (whoever happens to be asking) fascinating blog.

Other things around the blogosphere I've seen recently and made me think, on the topic of writing:

"So You Think You Can Write, or Tales from the Slush Pile"
"Five Years Later...(The Origins of International Slushpile Bonfire Day)"
"Five Top Reasons You Should Stop Calling Yourself a Writer, Right Now"

That whole writing thing is hard work. I have enormous respect for anyone who can stick with it. Anyone who says to themself, "I could do that" or "what's so hard about being a writer" should spend some time following links on agent blogs, writer's blogs and reading the forums at AW. If the amount of work needed to become a good writer doesn't faze you, you may have a decent chance. I recommend you start your education at Learn Writing with Uncle Jim.

Whatever you do, no matter how frustrated you get, don't send your book to Publish America. Please.


There's a new AW blog-chain going on - I hope you'll visit them:

Virginia Lee: I Ain't Dead Yet!
writing@cathsmith.com
hunt & peck
Life, Writing, and Other Things
periodically.org
Food History
A View From the Waterfront
Organized Chaos
Willibee
The Road Less Traveled


8 comments:

bunnygirl said...

"I got my protagonist lost in some underground caves and can't figure out how to get him out of there until I finish reading these 42 articles I Googled on spelunking."

LOLOL! This is the sort of excuse I end up having to make time and time again. But it's the truth! I'm always working my characters into odd situations and then going, "Holy heck, what now? I know nothing about. . .(caves, mines, deserts, goat farms, the Academy Awards, etc). I need to google it! Now!!!"

Dawno said...

That excuse comes pretty much from life - I was doing NaNo and wanted to be sure I was factually correct about a topic (not caves, etc., but similar) and realized that I'd spent an hour of my writing time Googling. From that point on I just highlighted things and noted "Google this!". The whole idea of NaNo being, just write and worry about that other stuff in December. :-)

J M McDermott said...

I'd finish my WiP, but I'm WAY too drunk, all the time.

Also, Helena Bonham Carter keeps calling and calling me. I mean, seriously, how many times do you have to explain that "No" means "No".

My coffee machine broke. I've tried replacing it three times, but so far all I've managed to pick up are a waffle iron, a llama's bridle, and two illegal immigrants named juan valdez who keep offering me matte lattes - NOT COFFEE! shopping for a coffee maker seems to also require coffee.

I'd finish my WiP but people keep asking me what's taking so long. I spend more time answering that question than I do actually writing.

Also, I blame your (whoever happens to be asking) fascinating blog.

Dawno said...

Those are excellent, JM. I'm going to put them up on the main post!

J M McDermott said...

i feel honored. do i get a prize?

if there's any prize whatsoever, i'd like to trade it in for equal monetary value in chocolate-covered oreos and whiskey.

Dawno said...

umm - I think the prize is just getting your comment on the main post. Come to NasFic and I'll buy you oreos and whiskey. :-)

Crabby McSlacker said...

Some very funny ones.

For me it's all too obvious--my blog ate my WIP.

Not as funny as Helena Bonham Carter (j. m. has good taste!) but alas, true.

J M McDermott said...

Naswha?

Where am I supposed to go for the chocolate-covered oreos and whiskey?

If there's oreos and whiskey involved, I'll check my calender.